Baxter Knock Out... Curiosity Got Our Cat!

This morning as I was lounging in bed thinking I should get up sooner rather than later, Ben came barging into our room saying, "Honey! I think Baxter is hurt! Come now!" Somewhere in my subconscious, I had heart a loud bump, hadn't I? Got up faster than usual, figuring a broken leg or something was waiting for me.

But Baxter was on our blue and white "coffee couch" and breathing, but otherwise nonresponsive. IF he hadn't been breathing, he truly looked dead. Eyes not registering on anything, mouth slightly open but not budging, body limp. I've had lots of cats, and this was truly a first. "Ben, WHAT happened?" Ben said he heard awful cat noises coming from the laundry room and found Baxter unresponsive inside the washing machine (lid had been open and the machine empty- no water or clothes), sorta wrapped around the middle agitator thing. He pulled him up and put him on the couch, realized he was not responding to anything, and came and got me. While we were sitting there trying to figure out what was wrong and if he broke his neck or something, he sorta jumped a little and moved his hind legs, then still didn't move but started growling- he was obviously scared. His mouth had gone back to it's normal position. We couldn't find any painful areas, and now his eyes were a little more alert, so we tried to see if he could walk. He took a few steps, then laid down. I gently palpated him more, still not finding any painful spots. Tried to have him walk again, and he went further but was a little wobbly. Called the vet, who had to call us back about 5 mintues later. By that time, Baxter seemed fine. And he still seems to feel fine. The vet asked how long Baxter was unconscious, and we figured maybe about a minute. Vet said, "that is bizarre and strange. I definitely think you should have him looked at, but we have people with a line out the door, and I wouldn't be able to give him the exam he needs. Let me give you the ER Vet info, and call me Monday to let me know what happens."

Well, we knew that the ER Vet could quickly cost thousands of dollars we don't have (we paid off Ben's car, so we're down to one student loan and the house- with just a fairly small emergency fund and money to cover bills). Since he was doing ok and seemed back to normal, we figure he must have just knocked himself out. Poor thing. He's a mess, always getting into things, so I guess his curiosity about the open washing machine was too much. "Curiosity got the Cat" in a big way for Baxter this morning! Scared us to death, that Baxter. We still keep checking on him to make sure he's ok. Anything abnormal and we'll take him to the Vet, but so far he's completely back to himself.

Here's some pictures of Baxter and His Curiosity.....
And my favorite picture of Baxter and his Sister, Lucy....

What are your thoughts?

Does anyone know of a particular adoption agency they recommend or don't recommend? Does anyone look at Ben and I and think the answer to our question "What will our family look like?" is obvious? Let us know, too, if you know of any babies out there looking for families. What are your impressions on what is next for us or where we might explore family options next?

And, BTW, don't worry. We love our family as it is now. We just really would love to add to it! (-:

Hope you are having a beautiful day!

Hmmm... Now what?!?!

We heard from Bethany on Friday. The adoption counselor said our application looked great, but they've had to stop accepting applications for the current class. (This one is NOV-JAN, and is already over capacity.) The next one at Bethany won't be until next July-Sept, and your name doesn't go on the list for birth mothers to review and choose until you have completed the class. So, basically, we're back to square one. No doubt God has a reason, and that this path will lead us to the family and children He intends, but we're a little confused on what our next direction should be... suppose it gives us more time to sit back and pray. Waiting another year? Independent adoption? Another adoption agency? Foster care? Adopting a minority child? Going straight to the state? Not sure yet. Your prayers, as always, are appreciated!


Honestly, while there is definitely some sadness, and confusion on why we felt lead to apply at Bethany just to get a "No", I seem to be "Resting in Him" fairly well on this one. I figure it has to do with the specific child He's got picked out for us, and it's just not time yet. Ben and I both prayed a lot about finding our spouse, and had to wait awhile, but eventually God answered our prayers better than we could have ever imagined!

On a different note-

We did get away last weekend, despite a rough start with the info from Bethany and poor little Lucy being so freaked out about the car ride to Grammy and Grampy Julyans that she pee'd in her crate on the way. )-:

Best part of our weekend was breakfast at the Dillard House, hands down. Divine! Otherwise, Ben and I may not see eye to eye.... high for Ben might have been winding mountain roads, low might have been shopping at the Dawsonville outlets. Low for me was the winding mountain roads, high for me might have been shopping at Dawsonville.... we both agree, though, that Helen GA is awful - lots of shops that are all the same. Basically one big tourist trap!

Here are the three waterfalls we saw on our trip this last weekend.... all in the very southern part of North Carolina - just north of Dillard, GA. (-: I still like Ben's new camera and so does he!

Waiting on Bethany ... at the Dillard House

We mailed off our Preliminary Domestic Infant Adoption Application last Saturday. The above picture is the family picture that we included. (That's us in Yellowstone in June!) How scary it is to think about the fact that they read a few pages and decide in about two weeks if you should get to apply with a more in-depth application to, well, become a parent. Not to say the questions asked weren't pertinent. And they do get individual "statements of faith" and get a reference from your pastor. But, well, I just hope they get an accurate "picture" of us and that God works it out perfectly. One way or another.

We're off to North Georgia this weekend! Dillard House, rocking chairs, Helen Oktoberfest and a fireplace suite- HERE WE COME! I've got Friday and Monday off for my "CWS" Day and because I have an awesome Federal job. Ben took both days off, too! Hooray for time with my honey and for long weekends!

And, BTW, Happy Columbus Day.... in case you find yourself wondering what happened to your Monday mail....

Today's prayer

Dear God,

We believe that you have a perfect plan for our family. But I'm really hoping it will include adopting from Bethany. Pretty please, God, let them accept our application. And be with the mother of the baby that we will get one day... help her to know you, God. And help her to choose LIFE! And, God, please give me patience. I trust you and know you will answer our prayers, but sometimes it's hard for me to wait for the answer.

In Jesus' name,

Jennifer

Nothin' Much Goin' On

Hello.

Nothing much is going on.... Ben is still at work, and I just had what has become a typical Monday "off" for me.... multiple medical appointments. I'm really not sick, but I sure go to doctors a lot. Between allergist, psychiatrist, counselor, infertility, etc. I guess I am doing a pretty good job keeping the Blue Cross Blue Shield billing department plenty busy. Today was nothing exciting- just regular dental cleaning and annual OBGYN. I learned today of a new measure of old you are..... my OB asked my age and I answered "34, 35 in January not that I'm counting" and he informed me that at my next annual, it will be time for my first mammogram but then I shouldn't need another until age 40. Wow. I never pictured myself mammogram age before.....

I convinced Ben to stay with me after church yesterday and help me "decorate" the Sunday School rooms. I found cute bulletin board stuff at a Schoolbox, so now the rooms have a bit more personality. (Hopefully in a good way....) Noah's Ark for the nursery (and boy do I think that is cute..... hmm, future Greenwald nursery theme?), Old Testament stuff for the Preschool/K class since it matches our current book, and the 7 days of creation & bible verses with great pictures for the elementary class. After that, Ben and I took dinner to the new baby Tumaini (tum-ah-ini) Gicheru's family. That's swahili for hope- the naming system in Africa is very different than ours. Ask Gicheru someday! Tumaini was pretty big and strong for just one month old, and very cute. I got to hold him awhile. His face and expressions are a lot like Tess Tess's. I love babies! If I ever got fired from work (not much danger since I've just reached 7 years with SSA!), I'd want to be in a preschool nursery. And if I didn't work, I think it would be super cool to be the "interim" home for the newborns being placed into adoptive homes.

Speaking of babies, my "adopted nephew" Sonny is turning a year old tomorrow. Unbelievable. I still visit him and give his parents a night to go to the gym or Home Depot, etc. most Tuesday evenings. I sure had fun shopping for his birthday gifts! Ben worries that I won't be able to control myself when we have our own kids.... I LOVE buying baby stuff. And many thanks to Amie who, since Sonny's birthday party concludes with an optional Zoo visit, is actually responsible for getting my Ben to go to the zoo with me. (My Ben as opposed to Amie's Ben... if you aren't sure about the distinction, just ask Callie Johnson and she'll explain!)

So, in light of all of this children banter, guess I better get to the two real reasons I sat down at my computer.... Midtown's 4th Quarter child care schedule and to finish up my half of the "informal application" (read initial screening) for domestic adoption. Yep, that's the route we've choosen. Still going to the infertility doctor in about 3 weeks, but depending on our prognosis, that might be our last step down that road....

Let me know how YOU are, and how I might be praying for you. May God Bless You and Keep You Always!

ADOPTION MEETING

Ben and I went to our first Adoption meeting tonight. (The second is tomorrow night. Tonight was about domestic infant adoption and tomorrow will be about international adoption.) Anyway, to my surprise, my husband came out of the meeting and said "lets adopt a baby, honey". Ok, so I hoped he'd be excited and I know he does want to have children - otherwise we wouldn't have been "trying" for so long- but it seemed a faster decision than usual for him. He NEVER decides anything after just one meeting or introduction. He likes to research, analyze, consider all the options, think about it, lull on it, THEN decide. So, while we are still going tomorrow night and are open to what God calls us to, we might just have found our plan..... rather, God's plan for us. (-: At least after eating dinner together tonight, we felt more peace about "all the options" than we have in a while. Adopt a caucasion baby first, then for our second foster or adopt a biracial or minority. No final decisions here, and we'd have to be approved first, but just a leaning in a direction..... Anyway, please keep praying that we'll follow His direction, and be clear about what that direction is for us! (-:

It's a heat wave, y'all!

The high today was listed as 99. I am so thankful for air conditioning.

Mom came over for a few hours today and helped me de-clutter some. She also dusted my blinds and washed my windows while I got out the drill and fixed some cabinet shelves and hung a towel rod in my laundry room. (need a place for my swim suit and towel to dry now that I'm going to LA Fitness!) Anyway, Moms are great. 'Specially mine.

I had my second acupuncture treatment today. I feel so much more healthy and energetic. I'm technically going for infertility, but he's trying to get my yin in balance with my yang. This imbalance has been known to cause depression, so I think it's helping with that, too. I'm also supposed to drink herbal tea - individually formulated for my personal needs- several times a day. Unfortunately, that tea is actually bunches of chinese herbs boiled in water and then strained out. What's left is the "tea" which tastes just awful. Thankfully, it's OK for me to add lemon and honey!

I had to call in sick last Wednesday. Guess I had a virus. All I know is that even with just eating plain foods like pretzels, sierra mist, and peanut butter on bread for THREE DAYS, my digestive track was all messed up. My co-workers were convinced I was pregnant! Unfortunately, as I understand it, that's not possible if you've just been on your period and you haven't ovulated yet. Now, if I start drinking that Chinese "tea" again and my digestive system gets all messed up again, I'll know it wasn't a virus...

Speaking of work, I'm proud to say that after almost 7 years at Social Security, I was given my first Award on Friday. They are sort of like small bonuses and are recognition for good employees.

Ben went to Ft. Lauderdale Thursday and is flying home as I write. He had a company wide meeting for his work. I've really missed him, which isn't really like me. Ben used to call me "Independent Jen"! Hope he'll feel up to going to the movies with me tonight. He's my favorite movie buddy!

Hope things are going well with you!

It's in the Valleys I Grow // Accepting the Unacceptable

Sometimes life seems hard to bear

Full of sorrow, trouble and woe,

It's then I have to remember

That it's in the valleys I grow.



If I always stayed on the mountain top

And never experienced pain,

I would never appreciate God's love,

And would be living in vain.



I have so much to learn,

And my growth is very slow,

Sometimes I need the mountain tops,

But it's in the valleys I grow.



I do not always understand

Why things happen as they do,

But I am very sure of one thing ...

My Lord will see me through.


My little valleys are nothing

When I picture Christ on the cross

He went through the valley of death;

His victory was Satan's loss.


Forgive me Lord, for complaining

When I'm feeling so very low,

Just give me a gentle reminder

That it's in the valleys I grow.


Continue to strengthen me Lord,

And use my life each day,

To share your love with others

And help them find their way.


Thank you for valleys Lord,

For this one thing I know ...

The mountain tops are glorious,

But it's in the valleys I grow!


~ Jane Eggleston ~



****************************

I am pretty sure I've seen this before, but today I found this in a book I'm reading, and I really like it. It being both the poem and the book, actually. I'm doing better in the last few days. Not sure why. Could be the talks two weeks ago and today with my counselor Tiffany, could be time has passed, could be a realization that loved ones are precious and not to be taken for granted (please pray for my friend Heather and her family, btw), might be that I started exercising, might be all the prayers my friends have lifted up for me (I'm so very grateful for those), and might be the acupuncture I tried for the first time last Saturday. Doesn't really matter, though. The why, that is. I feel less burdened and overall happier at the moment. Thanks, God.



I found a neat website through Bethany Christian Services. Their infertility ministry is called Stepping Stones. The book I am reading is called "When the Cradle is Empty" and I am enjoying it. Perhaps it's helping me not feel so alone, perhaps the Christian perspective is simply uplifting.



Tiffany today helped me see that one of the biggest things I need to work on at the moment is "Accepting the unacceptable". Some things just are the way they are. So are some people. And no matter how wrong I think it is or they are, nothing I do, say, or pray will likely change it.



Sometimes something unacceptable just needs a great idea and it can become not only acceptable but valuable. Sometimes, though, it needs to be left as is. I think change can be very good, but sometimes my vision of what is "right" or "best" isn't shared by those around me. Sometimes it's not yet the time for change. And sometimes, while I do believe that God answers all prayer, the answer might be "not yet" or "yes, but in my way and time" or, simply, "no".

Is assuming that God will answer in they way we want or expect short changing His sovereignty? Or is it like asking advice from a friend but when they don't give the advice you want, ignoring the advice? In my head, I know and trust that God knows best, has an awesome plan, and wants what is best for me. He's a loving Father.

Sometimes, though, even though my head gets it, my heart lags a bit behind. I guess some would call that the flesh. Some might call it lack of faith. Some might say it's a childlike faith. I think it's God's way of teaching me more about Him and more about how I can strengthen my relationship with Him. Eventually my faith gets stronger from being in those valleys.... and eventually, it truly helps my compassion and being able to love others.

But while down in those valleys, it's like my cell phone lost it's reception. So even pushing the send button doesn't help me reach that phone number. But, gosh, once I finally get reception, it's a clear call and I'm really glad to reach the one I'm calling!

Here's a link to Bethany Christian Services : http://www.bethany.org/

Here's a link to Stepping Stones : http://www.bethany.org/step

Those darn cats!

Ok, so I was finally a good Mom and cleaned out the litter box last night. Litter-ally (lol) gave them all new litter and threw out the old. Ok, almost threw out. I left it double bagged in the office planning to ask Ben to take it out (it's really heavy) and didn't remember to even tell him it was there. So when I asked for his help tonight, he said Um, honey, I think they got into it... WHAT? They had fabulous clean litter two feet away. Every cat's dream. Oh, guess they thought it was fun to claw at the plastic and watch it tear.... so, guess it's time to get it into yet another bag and then pull out the vacuumm...

One of these days, I'll post some pictures from our trip out west....

Thanks for your prayers... I'm feeling a bit better today. Even felt up to cooking dinner for my honey. And I finished the schedules for our growing Children's Ministry... What a BLESSING! We have 19 volunteers!!!!

I NEED PRAYER

THAT'S RIGHT, I NEED PRAYER. And if you saw me this weekend, I apologize for not being friendly. Truth is, I didn't want to leave the house at all, but did so knowing it's supposed to be best for me. I just feel like I've got nothing good in my life right now, and about 6 tons of stuff on my shoulders. Not as hopeless as I have been in the past, but I'm not real joyful either. I'll spare you the details, but here's the run down--

*my parents and sister and I are in a very strained place right now- and apparently I am the only one who feels better if we talk through things (in other words, we'll just pretend nothings wrong... that's what we always do)
*my counselor informs me that I have lots of anger towards my father- gee, you think?
*Midtown's Children's Ministry is trying to grow just a little and I feel like everything I try to get moving on hits a wall- is that spiritual attack or me not really hearing God's plan like I thought or just burned out volunteers? I dunno. BTW, Please pray for that Ministry and our Midtown kids.
*work has been so busy that even though I've got Friday scheduled off, I am planning on going in anyway and I still don't feel I'll be able to "Catch up"
*Ben's looking for a job change and sort of expects his current job to cut back the people in his position soon, yet we don't want him to just jump at the first job he finds, either
*got tested for food allergies and it isn't the problem-- guessing it's IBS-- in which case, no reason to see a doctor about it
*got my darn period again, not to mention a bill for some of Ben's tests that was over $1000 and he's got a non-covered Urologist appointment in the morning... infertility pretty much sucks. And sometimes it's even harder when there are adorable children all over.....

So, how much of this is over reaction, depression, spiritual warfare because I'm trying to follow God's plan for Midtown's Children, or just my constant battle against negative thoughts? I guess time will tell. I'm trying to pray and trust God. But some days I just feel pissed that I'm in this dark place. AGAIN.

What's up with the Atlanta Greenwalds....

Hello!


Yesterday Ben asked me when the last week I actually worked all five days was. Wasn't sure, so I looked it up. Last Friday of a 5 day week? March 19. Next Monday of a 5 day week? July 9. Working for the government and taking advantage of vacation, holidays, and a CWS schedule? Priceless! Just for the record, two of those weeks my one day off were sick days, so I was NOT out gallivanting around, but home in bed and/or at the doctor.... and a lot of those CWS days and some of the vacation days I had lots of appointments. But what a gift to be able to fit all that in and still be working full time with plenty of leave remaining! (-:


Ben and I have an incredible vacation coming up. We're leaving Tues June 12 and returning Thurs June 21. Paula is getting married in Glacier National Park on June 14, so that's what got us started... We're headed to Glacier National Park in Montana for several days and then Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming for several more. We'll fly to Spokane, WA and rent a car to drive all over and then fly out of Salt Lake City, Utah. We've not been on such a long vacation before, so we're looking forward to it. Our honeymoon was cut short because I was new in my job and in training, so we are really excited.


Ben got a new Nikon D-50 Camera for his birthday (It will be "from" my parents, but I let him go ahead and get it before we went on vacation... his birthday is while we're gone). I moaned and groaned saying we didn't need a new camera until we had children, but I actually LOVE this camera. It feels like a "real" camera and it makes a super cool camera sound when it takes pictures... probably the shutter or something technical, but all I know is it makes ME feel like a REAL photographer, which I definitely am NOT. We'll have lots more pictures to post soon., but here are two I took. They are of my immediate family, of course.... Ben emailed these to me after saving them on his computer, so they aren't as high a quality as they originally were, but you'll get the idea...

Ben, my "Honey Bunches"

Lucy and Baxter, my baby kitties.....

I went through some really yucky depression from late March to early May, but I am happy to say my Psychiatrist increased my meds just a tad and I got myself back into counseling, and things are going just fine now. Thanks so much for your prayers during that time. It means so very much and really does help! Ben, btw, is an amazing husband and is more than I deserve- especially during my down times. Can you believe we recently celebrated our 2nd anniversary?


My Mom and my Aunt Pam are driving my Mom's old car from Atlanta to Oregon in a few weeks. Mom got a Lexus for her birthday. It's pretty neat and has that Satellite Navigation and NO KEY! We're excited to see Aunt Pam for a few days before they leave.

My Dad's friend Sandy will soon begin a new job in Atlanta, and is moving here from England in a few months. She's got four kids ranging from 6yrs to 18yrs, so I'm planning on having a new extended family! She's visited several times before, and I e-mail with her occasionally, so we're excited! She'll be here shopping for houses at the end of June.

I have cousins in Missouri. Lynn and her family are going to Hilton Head in early July, so I think we'll get to see them when they have an Atlanta layover. Very neat! Haven't seen them in a very long time.

We went to a new fertility doctor last week. We like her tons more than the previous practice we went to. Her name is Dr. Hasty, and she is a Davidson grad and went to Emory Med School. It was fun to find out that her daughter is currently a sophomore at Davidson, and her brother was the Chaplain while I was there! Anyway, her bedside manner is wonderful, and our visit left us feeling more hopeful than we have in the past. She suggested Ben take a Male Fertility Supplement- anyone ever hear of Conception XR?, that I get started on Glucophage (Metformin) for PCOS, and that Ben go to a Fertility Urologist. I also must lose about 20 lbs to be able to do any fertility treatments, but she assures me that I can do it and it shouldn't be too difficult with the help of Metformin, cutting carbs a bit, and adding some walking. What a nice change to feel encouraged rather than blamed or condemned. I've already cut out all soda and sweet tea, and decided to change my morning coffee to half-caff. I'm also trying to choose fruit instead of fries at lunch. I have to go get one more blood test, which might be after we return, and then I can start the Glucophage.

I have had three or four people say to me, "oh, have you thought about Acupuncture?" in the last month, so it cracked me up to see a flier about it at Dr. Hasty's office and get a referral sheet of acupuncture doctors. Deane gets it for headaches and says it's wonderful, and my sister actually gets it for her Agility Dogs, so I figure at least it will get some endorphins flowing which will help reduce fertility stress and at best it might just help us get pregnant! (-: I will look into that when we return from vacation. (-:

Jen's Prayer List.... lift these people up, too, will you? Deane and Erika who are in chaos amongst moving a family of 6 into a new house that isn't quite finished and for which Deane is the builder.... Paula and Daniel who get married next week.... James and Andrea.... Sandy who is working out a move from England to Atlanta with four children.... VBS at Midtown... new Elementary Age Sunday School Class at Midtown.... Ben and his quest for which career God wants for him, and, finally, that Ben and I would continue to follow God's leading and be patient for His plan to unfold regarding our family.

May God Bless You and Keep You Always,

Jen

OH, TWO MORE THOUGHTS....

The rain today really helped bring the pollen count down. We're less than a thousand now. That's still "extremely high" but lots better.

I got off my PIP (performance plan) at work about two weeks ago. I'm just a regular, non-trainee CR now.... That is a good thing. And since I reached my two year mark at my office, it's a whole lot harder to fire me now....

Hello!

Don't forget to come to Midtown's Easter Egg Hunt. The Easter Bunny will be there and the eggs will be full of great stuff! (-:

I've been exhausted today, even though I got 12 hours of Ambien induced sleep last night and took a long nap this afternoon. I'm going to bed as soon as I finish this post, too! Hope I'm not getting sick, and I hope it rains tons tonight and washes away the evil pollen. The count was almost 6,000 several days this past week. People without allergies are having issues, so you can imagine those of us with allergies are oh, so happy....

We did go to the "Reproductive Specialist" Monday. Isn't that a more positive name than the Infertility Doctor? Well, in our case might as well keep it the Infertility Doctor. They will probably put me on Metformin, but I have another test coming up to make sure my main problem is insulin related. The nurse practitioner thinks I have insulin resistance, so Metformin would help regulate my cycles. (That drug is typically used with diabetes patients, and might also help with my weight gain... In fact, insulin resistance would probably explain a lot for both Ben and I.) I do appear to be ovulating, so I probably don't have PCOS, and the HSG test came up normal, so no Endometriosis or blocked fallopian tubes.

Ben's sample had several low levels, so he's going to give another sample to see if it was just a bad day thing or what. If the first sample was typical, they are not really saying he CANT father children, just that it's a lot less likely. Unfortunately, there is a lot less they can do to help a male's infertility than a female's. We'll wait and see, but one topic that has come up is (no surprise) IVF for $17,000. We're thinking probably not, but no definite there. Just seems to me if you'd have to borrow the money to do it, God has a better plan, you know? And, I assure you, while our finances are better than we expected them to be two years into our marriage, we do NOT have $17,000 sitting in the bank!

Another option would be a sperm donor and IUI. (Think of that as turkey baster insemination as opposed to IVF where they take the eggs out of Mama and let them get fertilized in a dish, and then put them back in.) Choosing a sperm donor brings up all sorts of issues, so that is still on the table. Apparently you can choose characteristics like eye and hair color. Weird, huh? From the little I know, though, that would cost a LOT less than IVF, I would still get to go through a pregnancy, and it would be at least one of ours biologically.

Adoption is also extremely expensive, so we might be more likely to look into Foster parenting. God graced me with the gift of truly being able to love ALL children, so that would definitely come in handy!

Anyway, that's the update on where we are at the moment related to becoming parents. It's all speculative, though, as Ben and I both have more tests to take before they make definite recommendations and assessments. Ben also did not particularly like the people (nurse practitioner and doctor) we met with Monday, so he went online and found another clinic with a female doctor who went to Davidson undergrad and Emory medical school. I'm happy to get a second opinion and see if another clinic matches our personalities better. The one last week felt very clinical, and that wasn't the best experience at all.

Thanks for praying for us and asking how it is going. We're sure we'll have a family, so don't feel sad for us. We're just looking forward to how God works it all out! (-:

VBS AND FERTILITY DOCTORS

Hi everyone!

I am tired and I should be in bed, but I haven't written in a few weeks and I have a few things I want to share. I don't have to work tomorrow, but I have to go get THREE cavities filled (so much for my previous record of only two ever!) and then go to the doctor in the afternoon.

For those of you concerned, you'll be happy to hear that my Big Toe on my right foot is healing nicely from my Ingrown Toenail Surgery two weeks ago. It's my fourth surgery, so hopefully it's my last. (two sides on each big toe) Ben thinks the entire subject is utterly disgusting, which cracks me up. I found this out about two and a half years ago when I was telling him of my last surgery as we were sight seeing along the reflecting pool in front of the Washington Monument.
I'm quite a romantic, btw.

Ben's back is out, so he couldn't cut the grass this weekend. Last weekend he wasn't inspired, so it had not yet been cut this spring. Our weather has been gorgeous (got up to 88 today!), so it really needed to be done. So, I took a few puffs of my inhaler, felt confident about my Zyrtec, and got out there and did it. It was a beautiful day, so I actually enjoyed being active and outside. And my allergies did fine. Can't figure that out, though- the pollen count has been in the extremely high range all week here. Like, not just a few hundred, but 2,700+! Ah, yes. Atlanta.

Well, we got all of our fertility testing done and saw the OB/GYN a week ago Friday. I adore my doctor, so I was sad when he decided we had too many issues for him to sort through, so it was best that he refer us to the infertility specialist. We do that tomorrow at 1:30PM. Ben and I each had a few things that are not quite optimal, so he didn't want to waste our time trying all sorts of things without being certain which route was the best. I was having a really hard time with it. I mean, since about the 3rd time I got my period once we started "trying", I would have a day or so of sadness, but then feel really confident that God was in control and would work it all out. I guess in the back of my mind, though, I had figured it would be one issue with a simple solution. When several things came up from our testing and it clearly wasn't simple, I got distracted. I mean from my faith. Artie's sermon just hit the spot for me this morning. I need to die over and over again. I thought I had surrendered it all, but alas, I had not. Artie reminded me that my flesh had reared it's ugly head, I had veered too far from God, and my negativity and depression last week was the predictable response! I was reminded during Artie's message that we not only need to constantly surrender on the no-brainers, but on the road blocks as well. What a burden lifted. That's right, God is in control. And I COMPLETELY trust that he's got an amazing family in the works for Ben and I. Who CARES about the details on how that will come about!

As a last thought, we are going to do a VBS at Midtown. This is a first, btw. A huge answer to prayer. And guess who is the director? God is wonderful and he answers prayers in so many ways. Remember my prayers about a year ago? I was praying about becoming a preschool teacher. I knew in my heart that I was not fulfilling my purpose- to work with kids. A year later I am involved with the Children's Ministry and a VBS director. I couldn't be happier. What a blessing these things are in my life, and how wonderful it is to serve others, allow God to work through me, and LOVE every minute of it! It feels like a wonderful new adventure, and not like work. You know what I mean, right? When you volunteer for something because you feel obligated, it is a lot like work. Children's Ministry stuff does not feel like work to me, it feels like a gift.

God is good. All the time. Sometimes we're not looking, but he's always there, he's always answering prayers, and he's always loving each of us. And only HE knows our full potential... I think many of us would be frightened by that image and run in the other direction. He lets us in on it a little bit at a time, doesn't He? And only when we're in tune with His desires for us. Isn't that when you feel most fulfilled? When you are allowing Him to work in and through you?

Have an amazing week, my dear friends.

Procrastinator Jen

We're having our East Point Lifegroup here tonight. Pot Roast is in the Crockpot, but I still need to vacuum and tidy up the bathrooms... oh, and make the biscuits. I'm such a procrastinator!

I finally made some huge strides on our office a few months back (thanks, Mom). Even spent time last night going through some paperwork. Just about an hours' or two worth of work left. Now why is it still not done? I'm such a procrastinator!

I am almost done with updating the addresses on the Midtown Church directory, maybe about 2 hours work left, but I've been meaning to do it ever since New Years! I'm such a procrastinator!

I am playing my clarinet at Paula's wedding in June. Finally ordered some new reeds and the music last night. Now just need to practice.... I'm such a procrastinator!

My six month leave request is due on the 28th. I've known this all month. Watch, I'll turn it in on Tuesday....I'm such a procrastinator!

We need to decide how much time we'll take off and then what we'll do while in the West for Paula's wedding. We are really excited about the trip, but can't seem to feel like making plans at the same time.... I'm such a procrastinator!

I need to add exercise to my Weight Watchers plan. I'll do it soon. Even got a cool Trampoline to exercise indoors on.... I'm such a procrastinator!

I pretty much finished our taxes a few weeks ago. Just need to look over them with Ben and send them e-file. We've meant to do that the past several weekends. I'm such a procrastinator!

I've got some great pictures to share by posting them to this blog. I'll do it soon. I'm such a procrastinator!

I have tons of memorabilia to put into a scrapbook. I got all the supplies. I'll do it soon. I'm such a procrastinator!

I have a weeks' worth of laundry on my bed. All clean. I just hate to hang it up and put it away. I'm such a procrastinator!

I'm such a procrastinator! So here I sit. Blogging.

I KNOW, I KNOW. IT'S BEEN AN ETERNITY!

I wish I had good excuses for not blogging in, well, three months. Mostly, it was the holidays, then it was lack of news and lack of time.

I weighed in at 240.0 yesterday. That might not seem so great if you look at my last post, but the holidays and my birthday were huge setbacks. I joined weight watchers instead of Nutrisystem, but Ben is still doing Nutrisystem.

We're still not pregnant. And, much to Ben's frustration, we've taken some baby steps to start diagnosing why we aren't. Not that he doesn't want us to have a baby, just that now there is all this fuss about it. I guess something about me showing up on my 34th birthday to my OB helped him decide he'd start with preliminary things even though it was not quite a year since we started trying. I went off the pill 13 cycles ago, and we "pulled the goalie"/ "started trying" 11 cycles ago. Now, in calendar months, which Ben uses, that means I went off the pill in April and we started trying in June. However, as a woman who has really had too many periods for a calendar time frame of, hmm, 10 months, I am choosing to look at months as represented by a cycle. Anyway, trying a second time for a HSG next Monday (that's an xray where they stick dye in and take pictures of it flowing in -or not- your fallopian tubes). I won't be too detailed and gross, let's just say there were two separate issues that prevented it twice last cycle and we are hoping to correct those two things this time around. Also doing some blood work in a few weeks to check insulin levels, etc.

I am still on CWS, which means I still have every other Monday off. This has worked out very well with several holidays. For instance, for MLK, I got a four day weekend instead of a three day weekend. And I had last Monday off, today off for President's Day, and next Monday off due to my schedule.

Can you believe it? I am coming up on my TWO year anniversary as a CR in the Morrow Social Security office. I am still on a PIP (performance plan). My supervisors seem to think I am doing great, but won't take me off of it. My supervisor told me a few weeks ago that I could be off of it as soon as I hit my RSI timely goal. That means process 85% of my retirement and survivor claims in less than 14 days. Only catch to that is that, as an office, we haven't hit that target but one month of the last 12. Whatever. At least I don't have to take claims for people without appointments.

Usually I love my job and the people I meet, and try to maintain a positive attitude each day. I am usually but not always successful with that. I don't sweat the small stuff anymore.... guess the Lexapro was a great choice for me! I do still get frustrated with the red tape and the fact that I now have to be a SR (the people who do social security cards, address changes, overpayment questions, general questions about retirement, etc.) one day a week and a few hours each day. But, hey, if they want to pay me a CR salary for doing SR work, well, who am I to complain? I'll do whatever work they tell me to, or at least as much as is humanly possible. You can only do your best, and that's what I do.

My neighbor came over yesterday and we made cut out cookies. She's 7 and really fun to play with. (-:

Ben and I had some rough moments the last few months, but things are better than ever these days. We eventually got it all talked out. He's a sweetie and I'm so happy God blessed me with him!

Baxter and Lucy are just fabulous. They adore one another. They curl up together for their naps and play together, too. And, don't tell him I told you, Ben has turned into quite a "cat person".

We're also enjoying both of our Lifegroups. We continue to got to the Johnsons' on Mondays and we are part of the East Point Lifegroup revival. We have that on Sunday nights and alternate between our house and the Zooks' house.

Still active with the church childcare. We're hoping to finish a new classroom (renovating a room that's now a messy, yucky, storage room) in order to start an elementary class over the summer. Right now it is sort of under 3 and over 3. But our kids' numbers keep increasing, so our children's ministry is growing, too. I am also praying about ideas for our miscellaneous aged middle and high school kids. There aren't a ton of them, but it's not fair for them not to have something going on, you know? They probably need it the most. One project at a time. Or maybe there is another church with a bigger youth program nearby.....

Also planning a Girls Night out for our church ladies in a few weeks. That kinda started with just a few of us, but we didn't want to leave anyone out, so now it is sorta any Midtown Church woman who is interested. Should be awesome.

OK, bedtime. Bittersweet on my Mondays off.... I usually love bedtime as I love my comfy bed and still love to sleep.... most 34 year olds don't sleep late, but I do. Just like when I was a teenager. That's probably the only thing I will miss when we do have kids, btw. ANWAY, it's also bittersweet because that means my wonderful long weekend and day of Jen time has come to an end.

Goodnight, Weekend. Goodnight, friends. Goodnight, Moon.

I'VE LOST 22.4 LBS!

I just weighed in.... I'm down to 239.2 which is 22.4 LBS GONE! HOORAY! That makes my goal of 144.6 about 95 LBS away... which is lots closer than the original 117.

BEN is still doing well, too. He has lost 32 lbs! (-: Go, honey, go!

BTW, Happy Veteran's day. I love being a government employee! We're taking my Dad out tonight to say thanks... He was a fighter pilot in Vietnam.

It's been awhile since I talked about work. That is because it is actually going pretty well. I'm mostly "caught up" with my cases and should be really on top of things in about another 2 weeks. I spoke to my supervisor about coming off my PIP (performance improvement plan- should be a negative thing, but truly it's been a huge blessing- Thanks, God for that!). Hopefully I'll be off it and pulling my own weight in my unit by Christmas. I'm enjoying my work a lot and not feeling constantly overwhelmed which is huge. I love the people I meet and interview each day, and I'm feeling that I have an excellent grasp on how to handle most of the complex scenarios that come my way. I also feel really blessed by my excellent paycheck and my great new schedule that affords me 1 day off for every 9 days of work!

As for my longing to teach preschool or daycare, God has really provided me some great ways to be around kids. I've enjoyed being involved with the Children's Ministry at church, and I've also used several of my Mondays off to visit my girlfriends that are at home with babies. My favorite night of the week is Wednesdays- I get to spend those with six week old Sonny. He's a sweetie. It's a win win combo- I get baby time and his Mom and Dad get a night off! (-:

I'M AT HOME AND IT'S MONDAY!

I am really loving my new "CWS" schedule. I was sick with a virus all weekend, so I still have today to try to do a few things around the house. It's nice to be at home and have the house all to myself! Oh, and check it out. Friday is the Veteran's day holiday, so I have a three day (27 hr) week! Hooray working for the Federal Government!

Nutrisystem is still going fine. I've lost 19.6 pounds and Ben has lost 31! I'm really proud of Ben. He had a few weeks at a plateau but stuck with it. You GO, honey!

My nephew Zippy (my sister's dog) was here this weekend, so I got some good walks in. I've also been sleeping with him in the guest room because he's always slept with his Mommy since he was a little puppy and we don't want him to be lonely or sad. He's a great dog.

Got my period again. It was three days late, but it still came. )-: We were a little hopeful, but alas it was not to be. Oh, well. I don't stress about it anymore, and am not surprised or disappointed because I figure it's on it's way each month. I've started looking forward to April because that's when my OB said to come back if we weren't pregnant yet.... just so we can know if something is wrong. Probably nothing is wrong, and I realize it takes people a long time sometimes, but I'll be at least 34 when I have the baby and Ben will be at least 37! We will sure appreciate getting pregnant when God's ready! (-: In the mean time, I'm enjoying the babies in my life. Sonny is six weeks today and weighs an impressive 12lbs- 95%! He almost smiles, but it's not a full fletched grin yet. Gwennan (7 mos) sits up on her own now, and Bobby (9 mos) is really attached to his Mommy. He's fun and responds and smiles and laughs at people, though!

I have some pictures I want to post, but my printer/ memory reader doesn't seem to feel like talking to my computer this morning. Maybe Ben can figure that out later this week. I have some of our two kitties sharing their perch peering outside and one of Zippy, the greatest dog ever. Oh, his sister Eve just did really well at the National Agility Competetion. She got some great places and made it into the finals.

We'll, guess I'll try to get some more things done around this house before it's time to go pick up my sister Janelle from the airport. Zippy will be so happy to see her, but I'll be sad that it is time for him to go.

15.4 lbs gone!

This morning I weighed 246.2! That's a total of 15.4 pounds lost.

Ben is doing well, too. I think he's lost about 25 lbs.