Assumptions, Judgements, and Gossip

Apparently last week I was feeling a little TOO positive about life in general. Time for a little spiritual warfare I guess. In the past week or so, I have come up against some seriously negative comments about me and my house and my work. Well, you know what, too bad. I know that God created me the way I am, and that I am created perfectly in his image, as we all are. I know that I am loved deeply by my husband and my God. I also know that what PEOPLE think is simply not important. Boy do I have to remind myself of that, though.

In my new job, I keep hearing people whispering about people. You know what I mean-- where they know someone is in earshot, but they want to gossip and talk behind someone's back, so they whisper. (Don't cubicle environments do wonders for us all?!) I don't know if all or some or none of the comments have been about me, I do suspect some have been about me-- I am a new person and good at my job and I'm probably a threat to some and an annoying person to others. It's hard to fight wanting to fit in and make new friends with what I know is right. I do NOT gossip, and I also don't pass judgement on others until I know the full story. I also feel it is important to give others the benefit of the doubt. Loving people unconditionally is something I can often do without a second thought. I have to remember to take things slowly, know my identity in Christ, and not rush into relationships assuming I can trust people. Bottom line is there are lots of people out there, especially in the work place, who care nothing about others and think of themselves first, middle, and last. Trick is to go little by little. The true colors will always shine through.

We had realtors go through our house on Tuesday. Unfortunately, I wasn't mentally or emotionally prepared for them leaving comments and ratings about our house. Just never occurred to me that was part of a caravan. Well, they left them all right. My self admitted pride about our adorable house that I've poured all sorts of effort in for the last month went straight out the window, and now I just feel sad and embarrassed and that my house may never sell. WHY? Cause some dumb realtors don't like my gorgeous green walls, and think my de-cluttered kitchen needs more de-cluttering, and one even said our curb appeal was only "fair". I just wanted to crawl into a ball and cry. Our house is gorgeous. And if they really want boring neutral colors in the living room, I guess we'll get some paint. At least according to them, that should mean we won't have to live with beige walls long, right??

A girlfriend called and canceled something with me that she'd planned for us. It probably wasn't personal, but it kinda felt like it was more that she wasn't interested in hanging out with me and less about not feeling up to our plans.

A long time friend voiced her concern that my husband and I are too overweight to raise children. Thanks. That's what I needed to hear in the midst of infertility and waiting to adopt. That I wouldn't be a fit parent unless I do lots of work to loose weight and somehow earn such a privilege. I know in my heart that God created me to be a Mom. I'm not denying that less weight would be a good thing, or saying I'll never loose weight. I am saying that being "fat" does NOT automatically mean you will not be able to "keep up" with your children. So, she's WRONG!

Looking around my house, I am reminded that my Mom repeatedly told me how my house had too many things in it. If it was her, she would have done better. Now that it is de-cluttered and ready to be put on the market, she's given us her approval and thinks the house looks great. She means well, and doesn't mean to be hurtful, but sometimes her extreme truth feels awful. I have to admit that the one compliment meant tons to me, though. In case anyone wonders about my perfectionism, it is in fact a perpetual attempt to gain approval of myself and others. My family does value perfect things, and I do as well. I suppose that needs to be done in moderation, huh?

I'm so thankful for my encouraging friends- and I do have a several! They are the ones that love me as I am, and appreciate me where I am right now. I'm also thankful for my identity in Christ, and pray that I can be reminded of that when I start to care about what others say and think. Unconditional love is hard to come by, but when you find it, know that it is from God. And remember when people say judgemental things, or assume incorrect things about you, or even gossip about you that those things are NOT from God. Doing my best is always enough, and even at my worst, I'm still valuable and loved!

Galatians 2:16 yet we know that a person is justified not by the works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ.

Galatians 2:21 .... if justification comes through the law, then Christ died for nothing.

Galatians 2:19&20 ... I have ben crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me.